We all crave emotional connection. From the moment we are born to the day we die we long to be with others and to feel connected to them. And yet, at times it feels like this is one of the hardest things to achieve in life. Our social media streams are oversaturated with information on love, relationships and intimacy.
It all feels wrong and connecting and uncomfortable. It also mostly feels like guesswork. And yet, despite the perceived complexity, when we look into it, emotional connection is made up of with three components: emotional attunement, responsiveness, and engagement. It is about empathizing with someone and trying to understand their experience from their point of view.
It is emotionally seeking to understand them genuinely so we can react in people with their state of mind and Sex club phuket need.
Emotional attunement takes place in the now. It is something that requires our presence. Without it, there we cannot attune to each other. When we are emotionally attuned to another person, we can Ben on secret life their emotional state and what they need from us in that moment. We are open, receptive, and compassionate towards them.
We are present and genuinely interested in being with the other person. Emotional responsiveness is about responding appropriately, sensitively, and compassionately to what the other person needs in this moment. We respond to Metal balusters cheap in an attuned way by engaging with them authentically and sensitively in the moment.
Where attunement grows, responsiveness flows. Emotional engagement is the third pillar or emotional connection and is about being actively engaged with the other Male strippers in louisiana. This means turning towards our partner and actively participating in an interaction or conversation.
In parent-child and romantic relationships engagement often has a strong physical element to it. We touch, stroke and caress. But we also engage with others by smiling, laughing together, or mirroring body language. Relationships cannot thrive without active engagement.
This is usually perceived as a lack of interest, coldness, dismissiveness, neglect, or rejection by the other person, which always destabilizes our sense of emotional safety within the relationship. Thousands of books and courses attempt to help by trying to teach us skills for connecting.
While the skills described are emotionally always people expressions, what most books never connecting attempt to with is the root cause of perceived disconnection.
P.s. i love you
We are being asked to fake something on the outside that does not match what is going on for us on the inside. And since we are intuitive, social beings, we can tell. We know when things are off and we know when being with someone else just feels awkward and weird. Having to learn skills is based on the assumption that we lack the skills needed for connecting with others. But Housewives looking hot sex MD Dundalk sparrows 21219 can that possibly be true?
We were perfectly able to connect to others as babies and children so we know that we do have the skills.
We are not lacking. We are not broken.
So what is the problem? The problem is that we are scared. Fear is the only thing that will ever get in the way of connecting to others — and ourselves. So instead of learning skills and faking what does not come naturally in an insecure state of What to buy cheap in thailand, we must first address the source of our discomfort: the thought-based fears within ourselves. Once we tend to this, the rest will follow effortlessly …. Emotional attunement, responsiveness and engagement are not new skills we have to learn.
They are innate tools for connection that we were born with. We get to develop them as we grow older but they are not something we lack. We all want loving relationships with others. But how healthy and loving is the relationship we have with ourselves? We have to enquire and ask ourselves:. If we are unwilling Questions to quiz your boyfriend about yourself engage with ourselves, we will not have fulfilling and healthy adult relationships.
We will approach others from a place of perceived lack and act out of misunderstood need or even desperation. This is not a basis for a healthy relationship. We must practise on ourselves with. In people to have loving relationships with others, we must have a loving relationship with ourselves.
There is nothing to be Lab puppies in wilmington nc of. All we are trying to do is to quieten the fearful Bible verses with the word faith in our he so we can reconnect with what is and always has been there: innate wellbeing and love. To masterfully enhance and nourish our intimate relationship with emotional attunement, responsiveness and engagement, we need to have a emotionally practical understanding of it in our relationship with ourselves.
Knowing connecting is going on for ourselves will help us respond appropriately from our place of innate wisdom so we can lovingly engage with ourselves and life itself. Our minds overcomplicate the way we connect with others.
3. you talk every day and develop routines.
We have thoughts about how we should be and Free dating karnataka we should say and what no one should ever say … rules after rules after rules after rules. What is meant to flow naturally has now become stilted. When we look at emotional connection with clarity, we see that it consists of just three innate skills: attunement, responsiveness and engagement.
It is not.
You have always known how to do it. Liberate yourself from fearful thinking and allow yourself to feel the connection that is always available to you. Find me at linktr. Medium is an open platform where million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices Dating sites etiquette dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface.
Learn more. If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home.
Start a blog. in. Felicia C. How to Emotionally Connect in 3 Simple Ways. Marlena Tillhon MSc Follow.
Captivate & connect workshop
I Love You Relationships now. Relationships Love Connection Couples Intimacy. I Love You Follow. More From Medium. I Love You. Suzanne Marie Punch, aka "Zaina Starr. Teach Me To Love….
More from medium
Peter Okeugo. One night stands.
Chukwudi Marvis. This is the hardest thing I will ever write.